"I hadn't fully recovered from liver failure, I had lots of inflammation & jaundice when, just over a year ago I left the house for my first yoga class since being discharged from the hospital
My medications were giving me heart palpitations along with other issues & I was terrified of driving a car or alone in public. I entered the studio terrified of a simple restorative class because of my physical limitations. Our teacher was playing healing instruments, guiding us through breathing techniques, while we held long, gentle poses & out of nowhere, my heart began racing. I checked my pulse at 150 (thanks prednisone) & immediately, I felt the tears streaming down my face. I thought I was going to have a heart attack & die laying in the corner of a dark yoga studio & yet, I couldn’t move or make a sound. I was frozen. After what seemed like an eternity, I felt something come over me, perhaps it was acceptance, but I surrendered. I surrendered to the pose, the sounds of the instruments, the rhythm of my breath...I just fully surrendered. I didn't die!
I'd practiced yoga inconsistently in the past, but that's changed. I have never been more committed to anything in my life now. My relationship with yoga over the last year has been the most important I have developed. It's helped me overcome many of the mental & emotional challenges I'be faced over the last three years
There have been many days where I didn’t feel like “it” as my disease had the upper hand & resting in bed all day would have been easier. “Bitch, you almost died. Get your ass up, do the damn thing & be grateful!” That’s the tough love mantra I’ve repeated to myself hundreds of times over the year...its worked every time 🙏
From a weakling collapsing on a studio mat to having just completed a 30 day handstand challenge.
I am amazed at what my mind & body are capable of. I give thanks to yoga for being there for me as a teacher, motivator & safe haven for me; for all that I have accomplished & all that the universe has in store for us 💚 Alex "