"They locked me up at 19. I came out at 20, angry with the world, 'they just didn't understand me'. Really, I didn't understand me. From early on in life, trouble was my “normal”. I dealt & did drugs, partied like I was invincible. From 14 to 27 this was my life. Constant fear, worry, stress, chaos: attracting the “right” wrong things into my life
At 32, My soul was tired. Tired of self sabotage & self destruction. Something had to change. I went into Rehab....& introduced to yoga
.
I returned home, in a storm of anxiety, depression, fear. The message I kept receiving was go to yoga. For once I listened, & it was the best decision I had ever made. I met my yoga mat with fear, worry, anxiety & my mat met me with love. A safe place to feel, go inward, begin to hack the root of all of this suffering . On day one of yoga, I made a commitment to myself to transform all of this inner turmoil & find peace. For me that means practicing yoga every day. So, that’s what I did .
At 1-year sober, mindset transformed, feeling so much better than ever, a teacher suggested I do a YTT
.
I went to Costa Rica to study Ashtanga , with no desire to even ever teach! I did it for me, for my souls evolution. A few years I traveled to India to study more .
I underwent acts of acceptance, willingness & surrender to every thought & emotion I had ever had. Requiring a level of discipline & strength previously unknown. Painful but, in the pain, I grew. Not overnight. It's a slow, continual practice .
Old behaviors & thinking systems dissolved. I created new neuropathways in the brain & heart. I now get to show up into the world with curiosity, peace, & ease. A flow state of liberation, to embrace the moment, find humor, the playful spark that stems from the heart. It has been the most painful yet best journey of my life 🙏
.
And in this I have found that the truest source is love. Love is the catalyst of true freedom, self-love, giving love freely, no expectations, no fears, no judgements. Just simply be love. To love myself even in the darkness
.
Love wins 💚
.
Ray
.