"My world shattered the day my mom passed away"

Meet @shelymas sharing her #yogasavedmylife story with us. These are her words 💚

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"It was a Monday & we finished having lunch at my mother’s house

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We had the most stupid argument (now I see it was soooo not worth it) I rushed off, couldn't wait to get away, she kissed my kids goodbye & gave me a hug...and I responded in a very nasty way

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Two hours later I received the call about the fatal accident that killed her. I went into shock. I raced back to her. Too late. My father knelt by her side crying his eyes out. And I was there, clutching her cheeks, hoping she'd wake up, pleading “I’m sorry, mom, I’m sorry. Daddy I’m so sorry”. But no response came from either of them. I couldn't cry, not even as we buried her the next day

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My head was wild. I was going mad, & the guilt... oh the guilt. I stayed in bed for a month. A month I couldn't move, shower, cook, help my kids, go anywhere. I stopped caring for life itself & those around me.  Soon I became an enraged, hysterical monster. I even thought about hurting myself

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I'd practiced yoga a bit before, but one day something happened- I felt pulled to go to the studio. I unrolled my mat & practiced mysore in silence for 1.5 hours

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I started to focus on the breath, not my situation. For the first time, I wasn't thinking about my mother. It gave me momentary relief

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I returned to my mat every day. Hour by hour. Yoga became an addiction. Daily practice led to me accepting my reality, calming me & remembering those around me, who needed me: my kids, father, grandparents had lost a special person too.  Anger became compassion. I learned forgiveness for myself & recovered my physical & mental strength

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I'm not immune to destructive thoughts. But at least they are at the back of my mind & now I know that if those voices inside my head become loud, I have yoga tomorrow morning & will focus on my breath & those voices become a whisper. I have my yoga. My armor to protect me

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My yoga practice is dedicated to the most noble & humble human being: my mother. She is in every breathe & nothing in this world can separate us, not time, not space, not even death 💚"