"Lost in the abyss known as life...
Sinking, sinking, gasping for air...
Will the light ever bathe my soul again?
Confusion, sorrow, & angst fill the mind, trapped inside of it's own prison.
“How long have I been here? How may I be free?”
.
For years, I knew nothing but emotional struggle. Doctors filled my body with scripts, surefire ways to heal. Family reassures me this is normal, for the best.
Friends encourage the delusion with drugs & self-sabotage
.
Rebel! How may I destroy the status quo?!
How may I shift the paradigm?
Constantly seeking salvation, the purest glimpse of hope offered an adolescent by an intellectual in a high school classroom:
Yoga, an ancient philosophy
.
Entranced by the wisdom, yet seemingly “not viable”, I wade through the motions of life, practicing only when necessary
.
On & off with practice.
Gasping air, kissing the light, only fleeting moments, then, the slow usual submergence into void reappears
.
LOVER!!! Come save me! I've forgotten how to swim!
.
The world outside offered no resolve. I had gotten used to drowning.
lovers left. A career filled with passion left my body with shattered vertebrae.
Universe telling me to redirect; healed and blessed to walk.
The search painted endless sorrow freckled with fleeting moments of basal joy. Soul getting closer, yet still no resolve
. “Why?! I’m listening!” .
Finally, body hits sea floor.
Peace found in the utter chaos; Coldness becomes me; Resting in the darkness; I am void of light
.
Suicide, becomes more palpable; an option to return to the light in which the soul came
. “My family... What am I to do?! How am I to cope?!”
Surrender, the stronger option
.
Ishvarapranidhana...
Yoga;
The only thing that has not let me down.
The only lover always there to tend my wounds.
This is The Path. No more time searching, only surrendering;
Healing my heart;
Seeing the Self;
Consistently working towards True Happiness
.
It’s always been here, just need remove the layers.
Now, “I” am found
.
Allow me to be a vessel, let me tend to those whom have gotten used to drowning
.
Tamasoma Jyotir Gamaya"
