"I had my colon removed throughout three surgeries when I was 18 & 19 years old with a long and painful recovery, physically & mentally"
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"I've dealt with chronic illness since I was 15 & had a back brace from 5th-8th grade, so I spent most of my childhood & adolescence assuming that I'm more delicate than others. I've been in and out of the hospital from age 15. Because of these surgeries I have more scar tissue in my organs & I'm prone to abdominal blockages. I had a blockage last summer &, in the process of clearing the blockage with an NG tube, the hospital poked a hole in my small intestine & I had to have my 4th surgery to repair it
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Throughout, I am positive I would have given up if yoga hadn't found me. It was the first time I heard of accepting the state you are in. With pain killers being fed to me at an insane rate, the idea of actually feeling the pain was something new & interesting. Some of my biggest revelations came to me in that damned hospital. I remember doctors convincing me to up my dosage because "my body can't heal if I'm in physical pain" & "I shouldn't be feeling any pain"
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Although to some extent they were right, it is a lot more bearable to be numb to the pain; the thought came to me that shifted my outlook on everything: I just had major surgery, I should be in pain. I should feel this pain. I need to feel this pain. If I don't feel this pain, how will I ever move on? This fuels my daily yoga practice: feeling my feelings
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When we shove things down deep, their echo reverberates through our being. Yoga & meditation taught me to feel my feelings as they come. Feel & release them
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This is the process of clearing the mind & finding ourselves under all the layers life creates. Yoga has been here for thousands of years and there's a reason
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I'm forever grateful for the process of yoga, the syncing of mind & body. My goal now is to share my experience to those it will resonate, to bring the light of yoga to those navigating in darkness and looking for an answer 🙏
