โI lived rooted in disassociation with my body. Depression, anxiety: in constant survival mode, unable to connect with myself because coping through trauma was the only way I knew how to live
Through Vipassana meditation, I gained the tools to manage my emotions & applied the principles to my everyday life. I began to create shifts. I changed how I showed up. I used my practice to dive deep into my spirituality. where I could observe my own truth. I always knew I wanted to teach yoga & could feel a passion inside me that would drive me forward to learn as much as I could about the practice & observe my own self through it
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But, in the midst of developing a very strong physical practice, I developed a weakness in my perspective: I had begun placing excessive value on my physical strength as a means of considering myself to be โstrongโ
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I suffered a pulled hamstring & weak shoulder for almost 5 years because I was in a state of acceptance that โpain is normalโ & what โI should feelโ. I did not realize I was driving myself into injury with my physical practice until it was too late
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I've spent the last 4 or so years shifting my mindset from equating physical strength with being STRONG. I began a journey of modification & overcame heaps of frustration, desperation, incredible sadness, loneliness, depression, anxiety, & playing small in my life. Adopting the mindset: 'what is life trying to show me? Vs 'why is this happening to me?'
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I do not see my physical as separate from my emotional body, & when I feel physically, I ask internally: โwhat are you here to teach me?โ I am in continual self inquiry & my most profound teacher in my life has been my intuition
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Regardless of what it looks like, if it feels rights I am willing to explore it. As a teacher I have developed a strong sense of empathy with others from all walks of life & physical abilities & believe these practices are for everyone. I stand today as an empowered ERYT 200 & Teacher Trainer; planning my own certification for 2019 & incredibly excited about what the future holds
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Happy New Year ๐๐ "
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๐ธ@andybalasphotos
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