Meet @jasmineabrahm sharing her #yogasavedmylife story with us. I'll usually edit stories to squeeze them into an IG captions. Occasionally I'll tweak to help people organise their thoughts & words. This is a first, because these words I cannot edit or shorten. I just can't. They pour straight from her soul. Fierce Calm friends, show Jasmine some love and light 🙏❤
.
.
"Everything I’ve done in my life was to be a part of something because I get scared to be alone for too long. I actually tried yoga in 2017. It only lasted 2 months. It was too hard, I was impatient, & I didn’t like taking all that time to myself, it made no sense to spend more time with alone
.
.
Uhm, it wasn’t until my most recent break up, & my most recent move that I realized I was so so dead inside. It’s not how I was raised to be & I wanted to find myself again, because I missed unreasonably positive jasmine but I just didn’t have the strength to start again. Especially not yoga! Gosh, I hated stretching, it takes sooo long. I’m never going to be able to do the “cool” stuff for years! Blah. Then one day I had a really bad anxiety attack (not going to disclose what set it off) I lied down in my closet & cried
.
.
I crawled to my living room & lied down on the floor, cried there...I couldn’t hold Belle (my kitten) because I was too busy crying. I lay there like a star fish. Literally made an x shape with my body, & I gave up. Kept getting mad at myself for being so weak. I kept asking why like a toddler.. why isn’t anyone nice to me? I pay it forward..why this why that? Everyone else is starting their lives what am I doing? Maybe you’re the issue, stop asking why these people are being mean...why are you so sensitive? Maybe it is me...then that thought spiraled out of control
.
.
I went into child’s pose & I cried some more.... .
I follow yoga IG pages on here so I’m always reading the deep posts and I admire the strong men and women. (Mind you, I’m still on the ground). uhm so i kept crying and the day before this actually, when I thought I was “holding my life together” just going through the days I mean I was smiling as much as usual...but one of my bosses looked at me and asked what was wrong.
I said pfft nothing idk idk idk...I guess my answer was so bad that he wouldn’t leave my side until I joined a gym. (Because I regularly excersized before I moved here to illinois) he knew this. He also knew I don’t know anyone here and I am always working and he is pretty intuitive sooo I think he knew I’m not a “by myself” kind of person which is what I was everyday since October 2017.
Uhmmm so as I was on the ground I thought of that and how sad I must’ve been looking and ew, the negative energy I must’ve been carrying around with me and it made me even more sad. I think I finally got off of my floor at like 7 or 8pm. Hahaha I looked at belle, my kitten. I decided, this is my life. The goal of working out, yoga is not to do “cool” stuff.
Ah, when I accepted that I need to be more grateful for the “little” I have and hold on to it tightly I said I want to be strong too. I started stretching and following Jessica olies let’s start yoga book, and I just bursted into tears again. (I’m a crybaby) I was just SO proud of myself for stretching my hamstrings. I wasn’t doing ANYTHING, hahaha but I was soooo happy to be off of that floor that I just kept going. Then I woke up the next morning and stretched again. Then the next day.
I have no patience so after a month of doing something and I see no change I’m like eh... but with yoga, something is always changing. Maybe physically but I can’t see that, it’s in my mindset, ah, the bravery I feel practicing inversions. When I originally “practiced” yoga in 2017 I NEVER let myself fall. I can’t even count how many times I’ve fallen in the past month and I love it. I of course still have anxiety but ah, when I’m practicing yoga or just knowing that wow, growth not just physically but emotionally and mentally i am sooo proud of me and I get so excited about how much stronger I will be in a month or how much more patient I will be and how I will appreciate just sitting still and listening. Gah! I’m crying now at my desk. Lol
Yoga has granted me the ability to accept things for what they are and be ready for growth. I spent an entire week by myself and LOVED it. I didn’t feel lonely, like in a sad way. It was amazing! I’m looking for a new church here as well. I just feel so, much better.
