I used to think it was the violent outbursts that brought me where I am today; the furniture flipped, doors slammed, false laughter, silent tears - that created my path. Yes, I leaned into violence as a child (sadly even into adulthood)
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Yes, I was uncomfortable talking about my “feelings” (that word still triggers me today - ha!). Yes, when in public, I was edgy, alert for potential danger (never have your back to the door!). And Yes - these were all traits that helped me relate to the culture of First Responders. I thought this is what brought me here. This is why I do what I do. The negative side of being raised by 2 First Responders
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OH HOW WRONG I WAS . .
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My parents planted seeds. But I had no idea. They were buried deep (like all my “lame feelings” lol). And one day, after years of self reflection (yuck!) & more than a few broken chairs, smashed phones, yelling - I noticed something different stirring within. The thing I was feeling inside kept growing & was finally ready to get the hell out. There were two planted seeds to my rearing. One was ugly, painful. Yes, it helped cultivate my skills for strength, independence & resiliency, but was damaging .
The other seed was this:
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CARING FOR OTHERS
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Making sure others are safe, secure, healthy & strong - that’s what matters in life. We don’t live in a vacuum. What we do individually effects society / community as a whole
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We have to take care of our community! My parents put their health, security & safety on the back burner to make sure everyone else had their needs met. They saw the bigger picture & lovingly planted this seed for the next part of evolution in our family
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Which is where I landed. Hanging out with a bunch of badass people, sharing what I've learned about dealing with chaos, trauma, & allowing those that care for others a moment to care for themselves
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📸@Sarahmarcellacreative
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