"I discovered vinyasa yoga, after my ex husband was deployed to Afghanistan. It's impossible to explain the constant state of terror you live in as a military spouse waiting for the phone to ring, constantly fearing the worst"
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I continued my yoga practice through multiple relocations & through my divorce. In nine years, I continued to come home to yoga through the highs & lows. A nomadic life meant my mat gave me a 'home'
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Yoga also helped my mood swings & panic attacks. I refuse to let anyone tell me I suffer from anything. I don’t suffer. I manage my shit like the fierce yogi goddess I am
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However, 2 years ago I was isolated & living with a chronic mental & physical health crisis. I was afraid & alone, & as a result, I suffered a mental breakdown: in the middle of my 31st birthday party
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It’s my party & I’ll cry if I want to has a whole new meaning to me
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I wasn’t eating or sleeping, I was underweight, in a toxic relationship & I had undergone surgery. I was imploding & kept it all to myself out of fear. I remember being in savasana in tears one day: a complete wreck
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In that moment I decided I wasn’t recovering & I needed to learn how to refocus my energy
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I am a lightning bolt of a girl, & I wasn’t harnessing any of this, as I was content drowning in darkness. That moment unlocked something inside me that allowed me to grieve. I began to feel pain, anger, & sadness: emotions that I'd been
strategically ignoring
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I promised myself I'd continue to practice daily to help me process the questions I had. I learned I didn’t need answers to all of them. Some answers were staring right at me. Some I wanted to run from, some I hated: all were true. Yoga gave me a clear head for the first time, because I began to practice beyond the asanas
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Yoga taught me to let go: Of everything. Of the past, of the future, of the doubt & fear; to block out what does not serve me; to forgive myself; to be kinder & gentler. It has given me a newfound awareness of the mysteries of the universe & the miracle of life
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Every breath is precious ❤
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Yoga saved my life 🙏