"My parents pushed me to be successful. I studied hard, got excellent grades (2 Bachelors, 3 Masters & speak 7 languages) to prove to my parents I could be this “perfect” person. But, I was never good enough. When I proudly shared my successes, the response was " great, but it can be better” . "The thing that little girl was craving was love, understanding & intimate connection . I learnt how to hide the fear, anger & sadness behind a “I have everything figured out” persona that got me through my early twenties . That was my baseline for relationships. Inevitably, this led to a self-shaming, self- destructive spiral & extremely poor choices that for years manifested in all sorts of abuse – from eating disorders to substance abuse & all sorts of toxic relationships. I was so desperately in need of love: the love I didn’t give myself & didn’t think I deserved that I kept looking in the wrong places to numb the pain . One day, the pain was so insufferable that while driving, I considered crashing my car against a concrete barrier. I almost did. But stopped & cried for a while, until I was able to come back to myself, drive home & decide to reach out for help. I couldn’t do this alone . Therapy taught me how to make better decisions based on my own needs . I started recognising the toxic & negative language I used to define myself. It took me hundreds of attempts to look in the mirror & not see a faulty item but something beautiful, that deserved love . Then a yoga studio opened next door & I went to my first class – Kundalini! Everyone was dressed in white, chanting & doing some sort of weird breathing. My inner critic outraged I was even considering doing something that will make me look stupid, but decided to give it a go. I instantly realised that my heart started cracking open to the idea that I had a chance to be different. That I deserved better. Tears of joy and pain started flowing through my cheeks as I finally allowed myself to feel what I had been numbing for all those years. The real healing journey began 💚That was 16 years ago. Ever since then, I have been practicing yoga and trained as a yoga teacher, which opened the door to other magnificent disciplines –coaching, sound therapy, energy healing. I now dedicate my life to empower others, to accompany them in their journey to remember who they are and reconnect with their inner worth, creativity, love, passion and zest for life. Through walking the path of self-acceptance and self-love now I can bear the lantern and bring some light into others dark corners.
