"As a little kid, I wanted to prove my worth and pushed too hard - piano at age 5, intensive ballet training up to 4 hours daily. At 15, after a traumatic event, I stopped eating until I ended up in intensive care
I was not my best friend back then. University was delayed, relationships with my parents strained by anger, despair. At 17 I moved out. They couldn't take it anymore, neither did I
.
I tried for years to prove that I was a fighter, got my high school degree at 21 & ended up with a 2 year/ associate degree years later. I married a sweet guy, moved to Switzerland & gave birth to 3 adorable boys
.
Happily ever after...except not: the criticisms started, not from me for once, but from that sweet father of my kids. Harsher years after years, more & more controlling, until I was back at the beginning : hating myself
.
I became a shadow of myself & decided to take a leap of faith & leave the love of my life for a better, healthier life for my kids & I.
Little did I know that by doing that, I'd deprive my kids of a dad.
He reacted by leaving the country, only to take care of his boys twice a year.
So I slipped, stopped eating again, I was at my lowest & this time I thought it would be the end of it! Too many struggles, feeling inadequate. Close to giving up
.
Then I found a video of @adrienelouise on YouTube: Yoga for depression. That night, I cried with relief, I was at my lowest but I could get up again! I knew it, I felt that glow during that session. I felt that warmth.
Yoga saved me & helped me through what was coming next. All the emotional stress triggered inflammatory chronic diseases: endometriosis & interstitial cystitis to add to the IBS
.
I'm not the perfect yogini, but yoga definitely saved me & is helping me through my journey. It is messy, & often I have to remind myself to be in the moment, but yoga is there as a healing guide.
I love practicing yoga outside, barefoot, not caring what people think, not caring about my figure, my social status, my imperfections. I just love to feel the air inside of me, knowing I am enough. I feel alive ๐"
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