"At 10 yrs old I developed multiple chronic stomach problems brought on by anxiety. The anxiety worsened with age & eventually led to severe mental health issues. My muddled brain began affecting my life in other ways, giving me an extremely unhealthy relationship with food, unable to socialize in most situations
At 15 my anxiety reached an all-time high & my health an all-time low. I remember sitting on the bathroom floor, vomiting, engulfed with disassociation. For months vomiting had been what I relied on to feel release. Eventually I formed a habit: Feel anxious—>feel sick—>purge. This became my almost daily cycle
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One day, during a panic attack, purging failed. I felt frightened when after releasing my "insides" I was still crippled with feelings
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Hitting rock bottom, 7 years ago, I found yoga & mandalas. They were above me, residing in the light, where I knew I needed to go. I had practiced yoga for years, but only the physical asana. I had drawn and searched for creative outlets for years, but never found one that stuck with me
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Mr parents suggested I practicice more yoga & meditating. It was daunting. To become close to myself was far more frightening than the dysfunctional, destructive habits I had formed. Reluctantly, I practiced yoga a couple times a week with my parents. It took years of developing a constant practice in both the physical asanas and the mental aspects for a shift to happen. The progress I made in the following years, & continue to make everyday began with conscious breath, resting in savasana, with stillness.
After 8 years I completely removed rx drugs from my life & began a daily practice of yoga & time for reflection, growth & love. Now at 22 my yoga practice has evolved into something grander than I ever imagined
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My Mandala art allows me to create something that heals me while touching the lives of others, maybe healing them a little bit too. That is what these mandalas are: a string of symbiotic healing
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Yoga saved my life & continues to allow me to thrive every single day "🙏
