"After my mum passed in 2016 I was in a bad place"

Meet @amylaviniawhite sharing her #yogasavedmylife story with us on #mentalhealthawareness day 💚

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"On the outside I perhaps looked like I was coping, I was by all accounts “normal”. But inside I felt like my internal structures had crumbled, leaving a gaping hollow space on the inside. I felt vulnerable & wanted to do anything I could to avoid facing my feelings

The low point came one night when I fell out with a few people close to me. The bitter irony is that when we're hurt & suffering & need people there for us, we tend not to act in a way that encourages others to want to be around us. That night, I felt particularly down, distressed & desperate. In floods of tears I hit the bottle to block it all out

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I woke up in the morning, head heavy & sore, surrounded by packets of pills & a suicide note

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Fortunately, I hadn't taken any, but I didn’t feel fortunate at the time. I felt silly & ashamed at the thought of being found like this & becoming an even bigger burden to those around me. I put the pills away, burnt the note, shoved the thoughts & feelings to the back of my mind & got on with it. Had I wanted to die? I don’t think so, but I’m not sure I overly cared much either

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Not long after, I went on a trip to India. It changed everything. Immersed in meditation & kundalini yoga at @sattvayogaacademy I not only felt better, I began to love life! My eyes were opened to the beauty in everything & I started to fall back in love with myself. Connecting to my sacred feminine energy has been transformative & I no longer shovel my emotions down, I dance in them, I revel in them: they are my power!

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I share my heart on social media, but I’ve never told anyone about that night, until today. That's how deep the stigma runs. I share my story today in the hope that we can change that. We should not feel shame for our pain, hidden struggles & silent sufferings. And if you’re reading this & feeling down, lost, alone,  please reach out to someone, anyone. And if someone reaches out to you who is feeling down, lost, alone desperate please, open your ears, hearts & arms. We're all here together for a reason 🙏 Amy"