"It was Autumn 2018, I hadn’t been able to shake off my 3 week bout of laryngitis. The doctor had just inserted a tiny camera down my nose & into my throat to look at my voicebox. His words were, ‘the right vocal cord, it’s not moving at all, it's completely paralysed, you have a vocal cord palsy.’ I do not cry often, but I cried after hearing this"
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. "I discovered yoga when I was 24. I was teaching in a secondary school, to counteract the stress of my busy job, I found Sivananda yoga. When I finally undertook my yoga teaching training at the Sivananda Yoga Ranch I discovered a whole world of yoga philosophy, Kirtan & the joy of living in a beautiful immersive environment with other like-minded souls
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That Doctor me told no teaching, no strenuous exercise & they would know if it was permanent after a year
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Teaching had been a large part of my identity, & for so long, I suddenly entered a strange identity crisis. Who am I, if I can’t teach? I had been combining therapeutic art, art teaching and yoga. I felt guilty, for letting people down, frustrated with my own body
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I came to realise that my self-esteem had attached itself to what I do, my physical capabilities, my ability to serve, rather than holding value at a deeper level. Aparigraha, the yogic concept of non-attachment helped me weather the loss of my voice. Dharana & Dhyana, positive thinking & meditation gave me a space to visualize my healing
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It was at this time that I can honestly say, yoga saved me. The enforced period of quiet reflection enabled me to connect deeply with the aspects of yoga I had previously put on the backburner. I carved out a new gentle practice for myself, creating a nurturing experience of being held.
I gradually recovered, my voice becoming stronger each day. In Spring I returned to the yoga ranch
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The retreat immersed me in the world of community & Kirtan chanting. I returned home to the UK singing. My beautiful voice returned
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My practice has given me gifts that go beyond the physical. It has enabled me to reexamine my role in this world. It gives me hope & resilience 🙏
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📸@barontragediofficial
