"Depression has always lurked in my shadow; I used to have hysterical existential meltdowns, convinced that my body & brain were malformed, that I was an evolutionary defect, that natural selection was killing me off with my own self-hate as it rightly should. I would point out parts of my body & behaviour as evidence that there was something fundamentally wrong with me"
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. "A friend who had seen me lose it too many times told me I had to take up a sport for endorphins’ sake. Yoga was the only “sport” I would consider. I lived in Berlin at the time & started going semi-regularly. Im not sure I would have survived the following year of trauma otherwise
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I lost my dad in a drawn out and painful way, & a vulture swept in disguised as a shoulder to cry on. When he had stabbed the last of my knives into the kitchen counter, I realised that the one hour of yoga a week I had forced myself to reestablish had been my lifeline
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I changed the locks, grieved & started believing in yoga, promising myself to just roll out the mat & stand in Tadasana for 3 breaths, once a day. Some days it was all I managed. Other days it led to a full half hour or more of whatever I could remember from class
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Suddenly, I was okay. With everything. I owned the space I moved in. I no longer saw deformities when I looked in the mirror. I had breakthrough after breakthrough and couldn’t believe the answer had been there the whole time. And it was literally as simple as taking 3 breaths, once a day
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Serendipity led me to my first YTTC in 2017. Goa was my dad’s favourite place and the school was recommended by my favourite teacher. It was there that I remembered everything that I had forgotten: I dissolved in the purity of the soul, the magic of the universe
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I became obsessed with Yoga Therapy and sharing the knowledge with anyone who showed an interest. In March this year, I spent another 3 months in India learning as much as possible so I can continue to connect people with their own consciousness and innate healing power. Big shakti 💚
