#Yogasavedme in so many ways. It picked me up and rescued me from a lifetime of self-hate. It taught me that "with practice, all is coming" & gave me the freedom to accept myself on the ground where I stood. It was transformative to move and breathe with the present moment, liberated for short periods from my trauma of the past and able to distance myself from anxiety about the future"
"The yoga mat was somewhere I could stop trying to be anything in particular, and focus on connecting with myself. The very first time an instructor said "turn your gaze inward" was the very first time I stopped worrying about people staring at me for being different. We were united in travelling alone within the confines of our mats. Gentle guidance from instructors to stop comparing myself to others, reminders that I was safe and held, assurances that my worth was not linked to my accomplishment. All these things allowed me to soften.
To keep myself safe from a world I believed hated me, I thought and felt in black and white extremes. People were good or bad - it was too terrifying for. me to entertain the idea that we can be all of, all at once. I ran boiling hot or freezing cold - there was no mild, temperate, calm in me at all.
In time, it came. Patience and grace. With it, the capacity to forgive others. Finally, the capacity to forgive myself.
What I needed from yoga were the lessons on how to be vulnerable, that it was safe to soften, what it is to truly be beautifully imperfect and human and whole. That is a different yoga to what I share in my community. As a teacher who is expert in resilience, my classes are challenging. I want my students to learn about themselves, face their resistance and master it to grow. Breath by breath. Moment by moment. I teach yoga that is reflective of my personal journey in the hopes that the ableist world and disabled community might one day meet on terms where people are free of their presumptions and judgments around what different people can and can't do 💚 @debzillah @onearmedwheel