"I felt defeated, useless, & angry after experiencing a level of trauma, I had never encountered before, I lost my compass"
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"I didn’t know how to continue when I didn’t think I deserved to.
A social butterfly, appearances were kept up. My outsides smiled, I bounced around.
But just beneath the surface lived a very angry girl; Indulging in alcohol & seeking false love & attention. I remember friends baffled by my angry & unexplainable outbursts. I remember crying, yelling & waking up the next morning covered in guilt, shame. I lived in one mode: defense
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Then I met @spiritual.alchemy she introduced me to reiki & kundalini. As she wiped many of my tears & reminded me how loved I am, I began to believe her. I began to believe I could now forgive myself & who I had been in the past because “she served her purpose, she brought you here”. Lisa offered me immense knowledge, love & therapy
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Then, in a Peace & Meditation class, I sobbed, felt safe, & realized I had found my home. I felt so lucky. I was so ready to integrate the peace & mindfulness I had been learning into my life. I felt as if I had been working so hard already, only to realize my journey had just begun
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Kundalini, peace & meditation, yin, ashtanga. My tool kit. I learned things about my body, breath work, and the power of my mind. I had always felt week, tiny & incapable. But I now feel strong, boundless & empowered. The “I cants” became “I can”. . My mode had finally switched from defense, to balance
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A couple of months & I began to feel worthy. Yoga has given me the rebirth that I craved, shown me anything is possible; taught me that “in order to do anything, we have to do everything”.
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I have never had more balance in my life. My mat is my safe place, my roots, my altar. I have spent hours crying on the mat. Hours laughing. Hours growing & falling into sweet slumber. I have felt so entirely vulnerable & strong as I faced my demons only to be ready to release them.
Two years on, the work requires commitment, labor, to grow, to heal, to be (as my mantra goes) a vessel of the work & a beacon of hope 🙏
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@joshgreenblatt