"I woke up one day & did not recognize myself after my first child. I sought therapy hoping to ease my soul & find answers. I felt like a stranger in my own home & body & it freaked me out. I felt hallow. Lost"
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. "Everything that has to do with being a mom to my child felt unattainable. Giving her baths were the worst. Bonding with her felt so overwhelming that I had to have my husband help. I well up just thinking about it because it felt like a foreign concept, not wanting my child. I now cannot see myself without her in my life!
. "You are experiencing postpartum depression!" NOW WHAT? My therapist said "why don’t we practice compassion'
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I was so hard on myself: each waking moment feeling scared, confused, frustrated, ashamed & compassion was far from my thoughts.
Especially when you do not want anyone knowing the thoughts in your head! The sense of not belonging whilst among people that love me or not wanting anything to do with my child felt overwhelming
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I finally pulled my yoga mat out, remembering how curious I was when I started in college & hoping to bring the same curiosity.
#Yogasavedmylife in more ways than I can count & continues to by giving me purpose and fulfillment. My efforts everyday helped. I showed up on my mat sometimes just to sit, sometimes cry, sometimes just sitting in gratitude was enough. The battle in my head was very real to me even though everyone else kept saying I was imagining it. I felt a wave wash over me as I went through stages of growth both on mat & emotionally. I did not care about the physical. All I wanted was to feel better
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I started treating myself with compassion. Slowly, my confidence started coming back & occasionally , I would even practice with my baby. She is almost 14 & still enjoys practicing with me
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We have developed a bond that cannot be broken. Along the way, learned that Yoga goes deeper than meets the eye. Now I am a mom of three & happy to be
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Postpartum depression is such a real problem that needs light shed on it. Let’s not feel ashamed talking about it. Here's to yoga & compassion 💚 Jacqueline .
